Aphorisms Galore!

Mark Twain

real name Samuel L. Clemens; American author; b. 1835; d. 1910

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/edsop9bf  ·  submitted 1997

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Mark Twain, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/byjgwlzg  ·  submitted 1997

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

Mark Twain, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/h5blv72l  ·  submitted 1997

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/2guiksyw  ·  submitted 1997

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Mark Twain, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/zzcxms0q  ·  submitted 1997

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.

Mark Twain, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/r0a9zwmr  ·  submitted 1997

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

Mark Twain, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/mbwozhf6  ·  submitted 1997

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/qnvx9otp  ·  submitted 1997

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/fvxbdltz  ·  submitted 1997

I'm opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Mark Twain, in Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/bucadpxy  ·  submitted 1997

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said, "I don't know."

Mark Twain, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ahogqesm  ·  submitted 1997

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/zlwhlbfu  ·  submitted 1997

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

Mark Twain, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/sdmeheo7  ·  submitted 1997

I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/q6kxew3z  ·  submitted 1997

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/17uoj5hx  ·  submitted 1997

Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation